'I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.'

'Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore. I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening.'

- Comedian Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

'I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.'

-Comedian George Burns (1896-1996)

'You can't be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.'

- Actress and comedian Tina Fey (1970-present)

'I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.'

- Actress and singer Marlene Dietrich (1901-1992)

'It takes a lot of courage to be happy, but I've got courage, so I think I will be happy again.'

- Actress Florence Henderson (1934–2016)

'There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.'

- Writer Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)

'After you make a fool of yourself a few hundred times, you learn what works.'

- Musician Gwen Stefani (1969-present)

'Sometimes opportunities float right past your nose. Work hard, apply yourself, and be ready. When an opportunity comes you can grab it.'

- Actress Julie Andrews (1935 - present)

Will Rogers' political humor was an early predecessor to stand-up

Rogers got his start spinning ropes for circus shows and broke through his association with Florence Zeigfeld's Follies and Frolic. It was his humorous political commentary, though, that would solidify his celebrity status. His goodhearted ribbing of society's "big men" predated the common notion of stand-up comedians as truth-telling jesters.

Comedic roasts, an ironic inversion of toasting, took off in the 20th century

Ribbing amongst friends likely goes back to the dawn of man, but formalizing the act caught on with fundraisers held by the Friar’s Club, a New York organization for theater agents. Rather than raising their glasses to good fortune and health, comics eviscerate an “honoree”—along with everyone else on stage—though they usually conclude with an earnest toast.

Joan Didion's 1975 commencement speech at UCR encouraged graduates to think outside of themselves

Filled with many widely circulated quotes, the talk addresses people's tendency to focus only on their personal ideologies and perceptions of the world. Didion advocates for being an active participant in the world, rather than existing only in our own bubbles.

'Adults ask questions as a child does. When you stop wondering, you might as well put your rocker on the front porch and call it a day.'

- Comedian and late night host Johnny Carson (1925–2005)

A quote from Sally Ride

“Three Secrets to Success: Be willing to learn new things. Be able to assimilate new information quickly. Be able to get along with and work with other people.”

'You don't get to choose how you're going to die or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.'

- Musician and activist Joan Baez (1941-present)

A quote from Robin Williams

"There’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot."

A quote by athlete Walter Payton

"When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you."

'The best way to make a dream come true is to wake up.'

- Fashion icon Anna Wintour (1949 – present)

'At every moment, we always have a choice, even if it feels as if we don’t. Sometimes that choice may simply be to think a more positive thought.'

- Singer Tina Turner (1993–2023)

A quote by Howard Hughes

"Do the impossible, because almost everyone has told me my ideas are merely fantasies."

'I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse.'

- Modern nursing innovator Florence Nightingale (1820-1910)

'Reputation is what others think about you. What’s far more important is character, because that is what you think about yourself.'

- Tennis champion Billie Jean King (1943-present)

'Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.'

- Judy Garland

'Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.'

- Inventor Thomas Edison (1847 - 1931)

'I've come to the conclusion that life is for the taking and just too short to dwell on the negative.'

- Cranberries lead singer Dolores O'Riordan (1971-2018)

'Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.'

- Maya Angelou

'If you want to succeed, you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.'

- Billionaire John D. Rockefeller (1839-1937)

'If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.'

- Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)

'In my experience, each failure contains the seeds of your next success—if you are willing to learn from it.'

- Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen (1953–2018)

Tom Robbins wrote comedy for the counterculture

Robbins passed away at the age of 92, leaving behind a catalog filled with surreal and comic explorations of the American counterculture. But his early success led some to disregard the prophetic and nuanced storytelling in his books.

'Your failures are your accomplishments because it makes you prepared for whatever it is that you are going to do next.'

- Director Lee Daniels (1959-present)

Some of the 'Jeopardy!' host Alex Trebek's best quotes

"The secret to happiness, of course, is not getting what you want; it's wanting what you get."

Chris Rock believes TV ruined stand-up

Chris Rock is one of comedy’s stand-up superstars, breaking through with several specials in the ‘90s. In this interview with stand-up legend David Steinberg, Rock explains how comics began working towards landing a spot on TV rather than focusing on creating a long, inspired stand-up set.

A Quote by Sandra Day O'Connor

"Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time."

Jean Carroll was one of the first women to make a name in stand-up comedy

Carroll cut her teeth in vaudeville alongside Buddy Howe, her husband, who later became her manager. Despite operating in a male-dominated field, she became a popular headliner and was a mainstay as a stand-up on "The Ed Sullivan Show," which led to her own sitcom.

'When you're climbing Mount Everest, nothing is easy. You just take one step at a time, never look back and always keep your eyes glued to the top.'

- Author Jacqueline Susann (1918-1974)

'Her own thoughts and reflections were habitually her best companions.'

- Legendary author Jane Austen (1775 -1817)

Johnny Carson was a stand-up kingmaker

While it was on the air, “The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson” was a prime outlet for stand-up comedy. Getting invited over to Carson’s couch meant he’d enjoyed the set—and that the comic was destined for great success.

Satire often employs irony

Satirists often make their point indirectly through ironic statements, indirectly highlighting the foolishness of the thing they’re mocking. An example is Mark Twain's satirical 1882 essay, “Advice to Youth.” “Build your character thoughtfully and painstakingly upon these precepts,” he wrote, “and by and by, when you have got it built, you will be surprised and gratified to see how nicely and sharply it resembles everybody else’s.”

'Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great.'

- Cherilyn "Cher" Sarkisian (1946-present)