Marriage

Background

Marriage is a legally or socially binding union between two or more people, often—but not always, depending on cultural and historical context—between a woman and a man. It is accompanied by complex cultural obligations in terms of property ownership, child-rearing, social roles, emotional support, sexual access, and kinship.

Social scientists have advanced theories explaining this elaborate bonding process. A functionalist view suggests that marriages supply social stability, a sexual outlet for adults, domestic labor, legitimate offspring, and a foundation for socializing children. A simpler argument suggests it was invented to recognize the pairing of adults and their children.

History of the Institution

The oldest recorded marriage occurred in Mesopotamia around 2350 BCE. Scholars believe that early marriages were primarily patriarchal and revolved around political alliances and owning property, including (sometimes multiple) wives and children, rather than affection.

Early recorded instances of marriage in Asia occurred much later, between 402 and 221 BCE in China. Ceremonies consisted of elaborate exchanges of gifts, astrological readings, and feasts. The bride and groom might not meet until the wedding day, and some reluctant brides were locked in wooden sedan chairs and carried to the groom’s family estates.

Historical African marital relationships are harder to generalize. Matrilineal societies, where lineage and inheritance are passed through the female line, exist across parts of central Africa. While monogamy is widely practiced, polygyny—the practice of marrying multiple wives, and polyandry, or multiple husbands per wife—has been permitted across large swaths of the continent.

The linkage of love and marriage arose during the 18th-century Enlightenment and the search for individual happiness. Industrialization led to widespread urban migration, helping to decouple marriage from economic alliances and giving more people opportunities to seek love and fortune. Today, almost 90% of Americans see love as the key component of a successful marriage.

Same-sex marriage, legalized in the US in 2015, was recorded in Rome around the first century, with the Roman emperor Nero marrying an unconsenting male slave in a public ceremony.

Divorce has likely always existed alongside marriage. Historian Stephanie Coontz reports that divorce rates among hunter-gatherer groups and early agriculturalists resemble those of modern times.

Rules and Rituals

In the US and many other countries, marriage is a legal institution regulated by state authorities with rules around marriage licenses, ceremonial authorities, and age limits. US states only recognize legal unions between two people.

States have been stripped of some rights to regulate marriage. Those that previously prohibited interracial marriage had their antimiscegenation laws struck down by the Supreme Court in 1967.

Ritual practices are an inextricable part of courtship and weddings. From Ghana came the practice of sweeping away past strife with a broom and then jumping over it, which is still observed by African couples in numerous countries.

Does the couple even need to be alive? Ghost weddings are practiced in China and other countries to ensure dead family members aren’t alone in the afterlife. They can unite two deceased partners or one living and one dead.

Modern Marriage

The marriage rate in the US has plummeted by almost 60% since the 1970s. More than half of Americans believe marriage is important but not essential to leading a fulfilling life. On average, Americans are marrying later while women, now more financially independent, are more than twice as likely as men to file for divorce.

Social and economic factors, including higher costs of living, may be contributing to falling marriage rates. While rates among higher-income groups have remained steady, fewer middle and working-class people, particularly men, have the financial means to marry and support a family.

Contemporary divorce rates in the US hover between 40% and 50% for first marriages. Subsequent marriages are even more likely to lead to divorce, with partners in around 60% of second marriages and over 70% of third marriages separating. The rate of “gray divorces” involving spouses over 50 has roughly doubled since the 1990s.

While marriage isn’t going away, some are content to explore alternative arrangements. As of 2021, one-quarter of US 40-year-olds had never been married (up from 6% in 1980), while around one in five cohabited with a partner.

Roughly 40% of Americans are pessimistic about the future of marriage. Many factors have driven a rise in couples therapy, which attempts to salvage broken relationships.